


Sacrifice

by MadameParadise



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Also Kind of Inspired by Twilight lol, Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Dom!Kylo Ren, Enemies to Lovers, Everything You Love is Dead, F/M, Jedi Reader? Who Knows, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Original Characters - Freeform, Phantom of the Opera but Make it Star Wars, Shameless Smut, When You Want To Hate Your Husband But He's Too Hot, You Have Issues Too, definitely angst, fluff for your soul, sub!Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:34:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24309826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameParadise/pseuds/MadameParadise
Summary: Never in your life did you imagine becoming the bride of the most hated man in the galaxy.Never in your life did you imagine ruling as Empress side-by-side with Commander Ren, sharing his table, bed, and power.Never in your life did you imagine watching your family be torn to shreds and mutilated beyond recognition at the order of the man you called your husband.But, then again, you didn't have that much of a choice.Didn't you?
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/Rey, reader/oc
Comments: 20
Kudos: 107





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Adam Driver's Sweet Ass](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Adam+Driver%27s+Sweet+Ass).



You hated him. 

You wanted to dig your nails into his skin until your fingers were stained scarlet. You wanted to yank the dark tendrils of curls out of his scalp. You wanted to scream in his face until your lungs stopped working and his eardrums burst. You wanted to push him off of the cliff you both stood on, and laugh as he plummeted into the jagged rocks below. You wanted to see his broken, lifeless body below you and smile in sweet relief. 

But you couldn’t. Everytime you thought of one of those scenarios-- the scenarios that could lead to your freedom from this prison-- you felt yourself weaken. You almost vomited at the thought of his absence. What were you without him? He was your everything now...your lifeblood, your soul, your heart. 

He had you under his control, body and mind. 

He turned to you, eyes ablaze in the midday sun. You could feel your heart jump as he stroked your throat with a single gloved finger, slowly making his way up to catch your chin firmly in his hand. 

His lips parted, the ghost of a grin gripping the edge of his mouth. “Do you love me?”

Your mouth felt like cotton, voice wheezing as you spoke. “Yes.”

Eyes darkening in lust, he released your chin. “Good.” 

Stepping forward, he held his cloaked arms out in an open embrace. You closed your eyes, breath hitching in uneven gasps. Finally. 

You opened your eyes to watch him smile sweetly, laying his enormous hands on your shoulders. The wind whipped across your face, particles of sand flying in your eyes. 

Then, he pushed you. 

As you tumbled towards your death, eyes still trained on the dark angel looming over the edge of the cliff, you had only one thought. 

You loved him.


	2. An Offer You Literally Cannot Refuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your mother always told you to enjoy the good things while they last.  
> It seems that you have less time to enjoy life than expected.

Sweat dripped down the nape of your neck. You mopped the droplets absentmindedly with a handkerchief, silently cursing the muggy afternoon air that wafted through your open terrace. Summers on Thysias were notorious for their nagging humidity. One would think that the ocean breeze of the planet’s endless coasts would aid the temperature, but it only seemed to make the air even more unpleasantly warm. 

“Gods, your hair is absolutely drenched! I’ll never be able to finish the braids…” 

You laughed quietly at Illio’s pouting, swatting her hand playfully with the handkerchief. “Oh no! What will the Chamber do when they see me without  _ braids _ ?” You gasped teasingly, your hands flying up to your chest. “Do you think they’ll revoke my status as Princess? Feed me to the Aiwha? Or worse... _ shave my head?  _ Whatever will I do!”

Illio stuck her tongue out at you, though she seemed to drop the begrudging subject quickly as she set back to working on your hair. As shrewish as she could be, Illio was your closest companion on all of Thysias. Companion was maybe even too light of a word-- she had been at your side since birth. It was custom in Thysias for a royal child to have a lifelong counterpart. Though the role was technically seen as an aide to your everyday needs, you were confident that Illio knew how much you respected and valued her friendship. She never seemed to mind her tedious duties, such as braiding your hair, helping you dress, or keeping you company on walks. Perhaps it was her good heart, or maybe just that she never failed to fill the air with constant blabbering. Either way, Illio was not only an ideal handmaiden, but a golden companion, as well. 

Illio fiddled with one of your stray curls, pursing her lips in thought. “Why do you think they’re calling you to Chamber? You never go.”

“I’m not sure,” you shrugged. She was right. You rarely attended Chamber. Your mother, High Queen Ariadne, preferred it that way. You never argued her point, as you couldn’t think of anything more boring than fifty old Ephors jammed into a little room, bickering over whether or not the annual fishing tax was too high. “It’s almost my birthday. Maybe this is my introduction to queenship.” 

“What a boring introduction.” Illio yawned. She dropped her hands from your head. “Now, you wait right here…” After a bit of shuffling around behind you, the girl returned, thrusting a mirror into your hands. “Look! Do you like it?”

You lifted the mirror, studying your reflection. Illio had transformed your usual haphazard mop of hair into a beautiful, elaborate crown of braids, with springy ringlets framing your face. You caught a glimpse of Illio behind you, smiling her wide, toothy grin, face flush with a splatter of freckles. Her hair was like golden straw, perfectly straight and shining. You felt a twinge of sadness in your heart as you reminded yourself that you would never be as beautiful as her. “It’s wonderful, Illio. Thank you.”

Squealing in delight, the handmaiden threw her arms around your neck, practically choking you in a bear hug. “I knew you would! Now come on, we’re going to be late to Chamber!” 

She hoisted you up from your chair, dragging you through your chambers and into the hallway. Huffing in exhaustion as you attempted to match Illio’s pace, you briefly wondered how such a tiny girl could have so much energy. 

The halls of the palace passed by in a blur as the two of you fluttered up the endless staircase. When you were little, your governess used to tell you tales of the old, from when Thysias was a lifeless mass of water and air. Legend has it that the Gods had lived in a cave situated within the depths below the waters, as there was no land to reside upon the surface. Then one day, the God of Invention, Oreivatis, started building a tower from the cave. It took ions of building before the tower breached the crest of the ocean. The other Gods aided Oreivatis, and eventually they created so many towers that humans could finally reside on Thysias. Your governess told you that if you climbed all the way down to the bottom of the palace, you would end up in the very cave that the Gods had lived within. You had tried climbing the stairs when you were seven, but got lost after several excruciating hours and had to be brought back up to the mainland by a guard. 

Besides, it was just an old wives’ tale. 

“Ladies! I didn’t expect to see you out and about today.”

Illio halted abruptly in front of you, causing you to collide with her back. “Count Karan,” she smiled, dropping her head slightly in a bow. “I wasn’t expecting you either. Shouldn’t you be in Chamber now?”

Karan grinned wickedly, instantly catching the game Illio was playing. “And shouldn’t you be in Chamber, too? I thought it was  _ your _ job to get the Princess to where she needed to be safely...and  _ on time _ , might I add?”

Illio rolled her eyes. “Touché.” She turned back to you, flipping her golden locks haughtily at the expense of Karan’s chuckling. “I’ll be waiting for you inside. I guess I’ll...leave you two  _ alone _ .”

As soon as Illio disappeared behind the heavy mahogany doors at the end of the hallway, you crossed your arms impatiently, facing the count. “Karan, I told you that--”

He grabbed you by your hips, pressing the two of you into the stone wall, his lips crashing into yours. It was an effective way to silence your complaint. He tasted like honeysuckle, and his clean-shaven cheek felt like silk against your skin. You could’ve stayed like that for a millenia. 

Going against the desire beginning to build in your stomach, you gently pushed back from Karan’s grasp. “Karan, I told you, not here when anyone…” Your eyes darted around the hallway, though he merely smirked at your paranoia. Regardless, he released his grip on you and took a step back, hands thrown up in submission. 

“You’re right, you’re right. I should’ve listened to you.” He mused, shoving his hands back into the pockets of his linen pants. “Princess knows best, right?”

You sniffed. “Right.”

You wished it didn’t have to be this way. Besides Illio, Karan was your everything. Like your handmaiden, the two of you had known each other since you were mere children. It was only customary for the both of you to spend your childhood together, with his father being a high ranking Ephor in your mother’s council. Both of you knew there were already numerous rumors flitting around about you two, which were quite justified as Karan had a hard time keeping his hands to himself in public. Regardless of his legitimacy, and the fact that the whole planet knew you two were to be engaged any day now, courtships and public affections were still a taboo topic in the royal household. 

“Are you nervous for Chamber?” Karan queried, leaning up against the stone wall outside the Chamber’s doors. You followed his lead, sighing as your back hit the cool rocks. It felt like heaven in the hot weather. 

“It’s not the first time I’ve gone. I expect it’s going to be the same old, same old. What have you all been squabbling about recently, anyways?”

Karan pursed his lips, running a hand over his shaven head. “The same beast we’ve been wrangling with for a year now. The First Order.”

You gritted your teeth at the name.  _ The First Order _ . That damned junta had been poking and prodding Thysias relentlessly, demanding a clear answer to their booming request: “Are you with us, or not?” Thysias had always been a neutral territory since the dawn of its civilization. Your people were one of simplicity, wisdom, and peace. Thysians were more preoccupied with building boats and swimming with the Aiwha than embroiling itself in nasty politics. Time and time again, Thysias reminded the First Order of its historical neutrality and inability to swear loyalty to any federation.

The First Order, it seemed, couldn’t take no for an answer. 

“I don’t think it’s anything to worry about, though,” Karan comforted you, flashing a brilliant smile which shone like stars in the night against his dark skin. “We’ve got it under control.”

You smiled at his attempt of reassuring you, warmed by his sincerity. Never had you met a man as good-natured as Count Karan. Sighing, you lifted your back off the wall and dusted off the flowing chiffon gown that hung on your body. “Well then,” you announced, extending your hand to him. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” He clipped back, gently placing your hand atop of his. With one fail swoop, Karan heaved the wooden doors open, and you stepped into the Chamber. 

Gods knew how many times you had been in the assembly room, but it never failed to take your breath away. Seats upon seats spiraled down from the ceiling right into the sunken circular stage that requested complete and utter focus. Over fifty Ephors, ranging from young and fresh-faced to the old and wrinkly, sat in their assigned chairs, shouting over one another to be heard. Light filtered in through the porthole that had replaced the ceiling, dazzlingly reflecting off of the golden ornaments that decorated each tier of the panels. Perhaps the most stunning fixture of the auditorium was the throne that sat on the stage below the panels. At first glance, you might have mistook the object as a floating blob of water. The throne was constructed from ancient seaglass, making it look like a waterfall hanging in suspension. It was magnificent and gave the appearance of delicacy, though the throne had survived about two hundred generations of rulers, including your mother. 

She sat as still as a stone upon the fine throne, clothed head to toe in shimmering green silk that resembled seaweed. Her face was smooth, untouched from sunspots or wrinkles. Despite almost being sixty years of age, your mother barely looked thirty. Queen Ariadne was a statue of a woman: beautiful beyond comprehension, but cold and unmoving. You loved her, you really did, but couldn’t remember the last time she held you in her arms. Her heart was with the public and her duty, and that was something you just had to accept. 

Your mother called out your name. Almost in unison, the Ephors hushed instantly. You had never seen the Chamber become so silent.

Something was wrong. 

Heart hammering in your ribcage, you stepped forward into the light of the room and onto the stage where the Queen sat. Karan followed you silently, though he stayed on the perimeter of the auditorium, eyes watching your every move intently.

“Queen Mother,” you began, bowing your head. “Thank you for inviting me to Chamber. I apologize for the tardiness--”

Ariadne lifted a hand, silencing you. Instinctually, you inched back. Her stormy gaze sometimes made you feel like burrowing your head in the sand. It was unnerving. “Ephor Perex, perhaps you should be the one to speak with my daughter.”

Ephor Perex, your mother’s most trusted advisor, nodded solemnly, shuffling out from his place by the Queen’s throne and towards you. You weren’t exactly sure how old Perex was, but you had once determined he had to be over one hundred years old. Karan had once joked that you could find out his age by chopping through his floor-length beard and calculating the circumference, just like a tree. You had laughed at the time, but then your governess overheard you. You couldn’t sit for a week afterwards. 

“Your Highness,” Perex spoke, his voice sounding like pieces of sandpaper rubbing together. “The Chamber received an urgent message, or--ah, erm, demand, this morn.” He extended a crinkled hand out from under the layers of robes that covered him. In it was a small, metallic holoprojector. In fact, it was the only holoprojector on Thysias. Your people were infamously stringent against technology. This holoprojector was used for dire emergencies only. 

Trying to contain the uncertainty bubbling inside you, you took the holoprojector in your own hands. It was cold. “From who?” 

Perex’s eyes flitted to your mother, who remained expressionless. He returned his gaze to you, his ancient stare clouded with an unknown emotion. “Perhaps it is best if you watch it. Now.”

Fingers trembling, you fuddled with the buttons on the small disc. You had never used a holoprojector before. Suddenly, after mashing one of the largest buttons, spurts of flickering light erupted from the device. You gasped in surprise, almost dropping the holoprojector as the blood-red particles of light fizzled in and out of existence, slowly formulating themselves into different shapes.

Though the image distorted itself, twisting in an attempt to maintain existence, you could still make out the outline of a figure. The man had a broad chest, and you could tell he was wearing a thick overcoat which doubled the span of his shoulders. His throat was invisible, hidden behind a high-necked button-up. It was his face that unsettled you the most. His jowls, framed by what you recognized as sideburns, were sunken in, highlighting his low cheekbones. His nose was like a small beak, and his thin lips were twisted into a scowl. His hair was short and gelled back severely, which contrasted sharply with the low-maintenance hairstyles worn by the men of Thysias. Finally, you could make out his eyes. They reminded you of a convor, watching its prey. 

You had never seen a man as intimidating as the one in the hologram. 

“ _ Queen Ariadne, _ ” the hologram began to speak, its voice crackling. “ _ I am contacting you on behalf of Supreme Leader Snoke. Your reluctance to pledge allegiance to the First Order...disturbs him. Your neutrality, it seems, is merely a front for hypocrisy and weakness. Though you continue to argue your ‘indepence’ in intergalactic political matters, you seem to have no problem donating medical supplies to the New Republic. _ ”

You whipped your head around to face your Queen Mother in shock. Donating supplies? That was impossible. Thysias had always been a neutral territory, never giving donations or support to any federation. Never,  _ never  _ had Thysias showed the slightest bit of support towards any faction. 

However, your assurance began to fade as your mother merely stared back at you with unsaying eyes. 

So it was true. She had donated to the New Republic. 

“ _ The First Order, as you know, does not tolerate false sanctimony. _ ” The hologram continued, diverting your attention back to it. The man spoke calmly, though his jaw twitched occasionally. “ _ This is the last time we will offer you redemption, though, you must understand that this is not a request. As a matter of fact, this is a demand. And demands, when unmet, come with repercussions.”  _ The hologram paused, as if contemplating his next words. “ _ The offer comes directly from Commander Ren _ .”

Murmurs of disgust resonated throughout the Chamber at the utterance of that name. Commander Ren. You knew exactly who that was. You had heard the rumors. A looming figure of death and destruction. Darth Vader’s prodigy, evil reincarnate. You remember hearing once that he had wiped out an entire village single handedly. Children, women, and all. He was a murderer. 

A monster. 

“ _ Commander Ren, I believe, is quite generous with offer,”  _ the man stated, his jaw twitching again. “ _ He is more than ready to forgive Thysias’ tresspasses in exchange for one simple gift from you, Queen Ariadne. Commander Ren is requesting your daughter, the High Princess, abandon her post and titles on Thysias to become his wife. If accepted, Thysias shall remain free from harm under the complete and total protection of the First Order. If you reject this proposal, your entire planet and all its inhabitants shall be completely and totally obliterated. You have ten hours to decide before annihilation. Long live the First-- _ ”

The hologram’s speech dissolved into automated screeches as you dropped the holoprojector, too stunned to react to the shattering of metal against the marble flooring. 

Your gaze became clouded as you stumbled towards your mother’s thrones, ignoring the shouts of the Chamber as you tripped over your own feet. Heart pounding, you fell onto your mother's lap helplessly, gripping the silk of her dress as you tumbled onto the floor. In that moment, you looked just like the little girl that had tried to climb down to the Gods’ cavern.

The last thing you saw was her grey eyes, shrouded in animosity. She didn’t reach out to help you. She didn’t care if you got lost in the staircase. 

Your head hit the floor. 

Then, it was darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I definitely lied when I said I was going to post my first chapter within a day...because I ended up doing it within five hours of posting my prologue instead lol. I couldn't help myself; it was so fun writing this chapter!  
> I apologize if it seems kind of wordy, there was just so much info to put in one chapter, but I didn't want to drag it out! Because...I think we both know what you're really here for: Kylo Ren. So don't worry, you'll be seeing him soon ;)  
> Also, thank you so much to everyone who left kudos on the prologue; I totally did not expect you guys to like it that much! This is going to be an awesome journey, and I can promise you that the story only gets wilder from here.  
> Please feel free to leave a comment if you have any questions, suggestions, or critiques!! It is definitely welcome.  
> I hope you guys enjoyed the intro to this story, and I'll be posting chapter two very soon!


	3. The Debate of a Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chamber will decide your fate, now.

_“You can’t possibly believe this isn’t a trap from the First Order! Why in the Gods’ names would they waste military resources on_ us _? We have nothing to offer except for seashells and fish! We’re insignificant, I’m telling you!”_

_“...a damn foolish move from Ariadne, sending those supplies…”_

_“Thysias has been doomed from the start. The Gods never intended for humans to inhabit it; perhaps this is simply our fate.”_

_“All for_ that _girl? That Ren really has lost it, hasn’t he…”_

You were roused from darkness by the sounds of shouting from the panels above. Blinking your eyes slowly, like you just awoken from a deep slumber, you started to make out the hazy shapes of men leaning forwards in their suspended chairs, angrily gesturing with waving arms and pointed fingers. 

A wet handkerchief patted your head, droplets of seawater trickling down your cheek. 

“It’s alright, you’re going to be fine…” Illio murmured, dabbing your forehead with the cloth. You were still laying on the floor, but your upper half was resting in your friend’s lap. 

“What...what happened? How long was I gone?” You asked, head heavy with confusion.

Illio pursed her lips. “You fainted. Just for a few moments.”

“ _Oh_.” Your cheeks burned with embarrassment. How queenly you must have looked, toppling over like a damsel in distress in your mother’s arms. No wonder most of the Chamber thought you were completely unfit to rule.

Pushing yourself out of Illio’s lap, you craned your neck upwards to gauge your mother’s reaction to your tumble. However, you were surprised to see her deep in conversation with Perex, their heads huddled together and mouths moving rapidly as they spoke. 

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Your attention was diverted upwards at the sound of a gavel slamming into the wooden armrests of the panel’s chairs. A tall, full figured man with sunburnt cheeks held the gavel, bushy eyebrows covering his eyes. You recognized him immediately as Khenti, one of the eldest Ephors. 

“Enough theatrics!” He boomed, silencing the rest of the Chamber. “We must decide upon our course of action. Immediately.”

Towards the top of the tiers, a lithe, little man with a hooked nose sighed in exasperation. “Our course of action is clear. The girl will go with Ren, no questions asked.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Karan emerge from the shadows by the entrance. His hands were balled into fists, fury igniting his black eyes. “How dare you!” He growled through clenched teeth. “ _The girl_ is our future Queen! She belongs on Thysias! How could you call yourself a Thysian and be so willing to submit to those bastards without a fight?”

“A fight?” Khenti echoed from above, leaning over in his chair to get a better look at the young Count. “You expect us to fight the First Order? Look around you, Karan. We have _nothing_. No firepower, no technology… Hell-- we still have a calvary of Aiwha! Put aside your boyish obsession with this girl and think with your mind, not your groin.”

Karan opened his mouth in protest, but closed it quickly. His eyes fell to the floor in shame, though his fists were still shaking. 

Perex stepped forward on the circular stage below the panels. “Ephor Khenti is correct,” he assented, eyes solemn. “Thysias is defenseless against the First Order. An objection to this demand would almost certainly lead to annihilation.” 

“I believe we are all forgetting a crucial piece of this decision,” a voice bellowed. You didn’t need to see who it belonged to.

It was Thetin Xeros, Karan’s father. 

Thetin leaned back in his spot on the panel, chair creaking in agony under his weight. He was a hulk of a man, bands of muscle straining against his linen tunic. You had decided that Karan must have inherited his slender frame from his mother, as Thetin’s bulking figure bore no resemblance to his own. 

“The hologram said that our _very own_ High Queen donated medical supplies to the New Republic.” Thetin continued, tapping his thick fingers against the armrest of his chair as if he were deep in thought. He had always been one for _theatrics_ , as Khenti would say. “Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t believe _that_ action was approved of by the Chamber.”

“ _That_ action did not require approval.” Your mother hissed in response, voice echoing through the open auditorium. She clutched the edge of her throne, knuckles turning white. “My donation was personal, not tied to Thysias in any way.”

Thetin snorted. “A personal donation from a Queen? You must be forgetting you are, Ariadne. There is no such thing as ‘personal’ when you are ruler of an entire planet. Your actions speak for all of us.”

Perex was quick to interject. “Queen Ariadne was upholding the values of our people by supporting the New Republic.”

“ _Ah ha!_ ” The hook-nosed Ephor from before pointed a bony finger towards your mother. “So she _was_ supporting the federation! What a hypocrite.”

“The New Republic stands for everything that our people stand for,” Ariadne retorted. Her face was pinched in what might have been perceived as worry, but her eyes looked determined. She was unbreakable. “Thysias is a place of peace, wisdom, and most importantly, liberation.”

“But we are also a place of neutrality,” Thetin objected. “Your donation has thrown our state into upheaval. The action was foolish. The Chamber exists to balance your power, and you have undermined _all_ we believe in.”

Your mother, surprisingly, was silent. 

“Now, we must undo your mistakes,” Thetin continued, spreading his arms wide to gesture to the other Ephors. The Chamber murmured in agreement. “This puts us in a limbo. The New Republic cannot save us from destruction, despite your ‘efforts’. You have lied to the First Order by declaring a front of neutrality. We must right our wrongs.”

“But, the First Order...Commander Ren…” Karan blabbered again, emerging from his place of shame. There was a hint of fear in his eyes as he objected to his own father, but he continued speaking. “They don’t care for our people. They want _power_. They see us as helpless, and are totally ready to take advantage of us. Why can’t Thysias defend itself? Why can’t we take a stand, rather than running to the ‘protection’ of an an organization like a wailing child?”

Thetin stared at his son in silence. Moments passed. The silence made you cringe. You silently wished that this was all a dream, that you could slap yourself and then you would wake up in your bed. 

“You stupid, _stupid_ boy.” Thetin finally spat. Karan flinched under the weight of his words. You felt the impulse to rush to his side and cradle him in your arms. You ignored that impulse. “Have you not listened to a single word we’ve said? Defense is impossible. Neutrality was a luxury we once had, but now, thanks to our _Queen_ \--” He jeered a thumb towards your mother. “--we cannot afford that luxury. This is no longer a discussion of upholding traditions, or respecting our ancestors wishes. This is a matter or life or death. No, I _do not_ agree with what the First Order believes. Yes, I _do_ feel pity for our Princess who will be making this sacrifice for us. But, in the end, I want to live to see tomorrow. I want to live to see my grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Do you all not agree?”

The Chamber cheered in agreement, the sound deafening. 

You felt like you were in a cage, watching the people above you decide your fate. You were still sitting on the ground by your mother’s feet, who had not dared to look at you once during this whole trial. Your face burned with a mixture of fear and confusion. The Ephors spoke about you like you didn’t exist. You hadn’t said a single word. 

You couldn’t even defend yourself. 

Did they not care what happened to you? This was your life they were talking about. How could they be so willing to give you over to a...a _monster_? You shivered at the thought. Did your heritage mean nothing to them? You were your mother’s only offspring. Your father had no existence to speak of. The line of royalty would die with your mother if you left. Did that not matter to them? 

No, of course it didn’t. 

But then, you remembered Thetin’s words. _But, in the end, I want to live to see tomorrow. I want to live to see my grandchildren, and great grandchildren._

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. 

No. 

This wasn’t about you. 

This was about _them_. 

You would admit it-- you had been a damned coward your whole life. You never spoke in a crowd, you never acted on your own behalf; you always did what your mother wanted you to do. You had to face it at some point; though you were a Princess, you were as spineless as an eel. 

In that moment, sitting on the marble floor, dozens of angry men shouting above you, the midday sun hitting your cheeks and glimmering off of your mother’s throne, you suddenly remembered something. Something your governess had told you a long, long time ago...

* * *

“ _Do you think I chose to be here?_ ” she had snapped at you as she tugged a comb through your damp, tangled locks. You were fifteen. Karan had convinced you to go cliff-diving in the dead of the night. You enjoyed it for the first few dives, but then your governess had found you, and well-- one thing led to another (Karan swore he had bruises from your governess’ switch for months. He was lying. They weren’t _that_ bad). “ _Do you think I gave up my life, my_ family _to chase you around? Raise you?_ No.”

She had paused, comb still in hand, contemplating her sentence. The stars shone dimly behind the curtains draped across your chamber’s windows. You could vaguely remember that you stunk of seasalt, and the smell had permeated the whole room. 

“ _But…_ ” she continued, her green eyes softening as she looked back at you. “ _This is the way of the world. We are brought into roles that we don’t necessarily understand...at first. Although you can be a sore in my backside--_ ” she poked you teasingly with the comb. “ _I know you needed me here. And so, I sacrificed myself for you._ ”

You two had shared a tender moment then. Your old governess was a brash woman, but she was right-- you needed her. You remember tears welling in your eyes after she spoke. 

Then, of course, she broke the moment. 

“ _Oh, don’t get soft on me, now!_ ” she chided, yanking the comb back through your hair. _“Don’t think that this means I’m going to forget about your little ‘trip’ with that silly boy…_ ”

* * *

Maybe this was your sacrifice.

You didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want to give yourself, your entire being, to a man you had never met. For Gods’ sake, you didn’t even know if he was a _man_. 

But, your people needed you to. You would never be a ruler now, that was clear. So, perhaps your first and only act of gratitude towards this world would be sacrificing your life for others. 

It was that thought that ignited a flame in you, something you had never felt before. 

_Courage_. 

Limbs shaking from adrenaline, you pushed yourself up out of Illio’s lap. No one seemed to notice as you stood, trudging like you had awoken from a coma over to your mother’s throne. 

You stopped dead in front of her, palms sweating. You opened your mouth. 

“I’ll do it.”

She stared at you, a thin brow arched in curiosity. She hadn’t heard you. The Chambers shouts were drowning you out.

You swallowed, and tried again. 

“ _I’ll do it_.”

That did the trick. The Chamber, your mother, Perex, Illio, and Karan had heard you. The room was as silent as a tomb. 

Perex was the first to speak, barely attempting to mask his shock. “Princess...I-I...perhaps I misunderstood you. You said that you would--”

“I said, I will do it.” you repeated. You felt yourself getting braver and braver with every word. “I understand the circumstances of this request, and I...well, there seems to be no other choice. I will marry Commander Ren for the sake of Thysias. As High Princess…” you faltered, looking around the room. The Ephors were staring at you like you were a ghost. “It’s my duty. I must.”

“ _No!_ ”

Karan’s voice cracked as he wailed, running from the entrance towards you. Your bodies collided as he grabbed your arms and pulled you into him. He held onto you like he was drowning and you were his life preserver. His face was torn in panic, eyes wide. He looked like a madman. 

It scared you. 

“No, no…” He cried, repeating your name over and over. “Can’t you see? You don’t have to do this. We can fix it, we can fix it, I swear on my life… What about me? Why can’t you--”

The room suddenly went dark, and the walls shook. The Ephors cried, falling out of their chairs as the room rumbled under some strange, intense pressure. 

You looked up to the porthole on the ceiling. It had been completely blocked by a black mass. It looked like the bottom of a metallic boat was floating over the building, its belly lined with endless pipes and pieces. 

“It’s too late for pleas, Karan.” Ariadne spoke, watching the mass continue to move over the porthole. Her face was solemn. 

“He’s here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! i totally did not expect you guys to like the first chapter as much as you did!! once again, thank you for the kudos <3  
> hopefully this chapter is a little more ~exciting~ than the last and has a bit more ~flavor~! i know i'm teasing you by withholding that sweet, sweet Kylo content but trust me...he's coming soon... ;)  
> how are you guys feeling about Y/N so far? i wanted her to have a bit more of a dynamic personality and allow for some growth.  
> anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! as always, feel free to leave comments because i want to know how you're feeling about the story so far!  
> hope you're all staying safe. :)


	4. Worst Wedding Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine the perfect wedding, then shit on it, light it on fire, and throw it into the depths of Hell. Also, your groom is Satan.  
> That's what you're working with.

The waves crashed into the rocks below you. 

You stared into the clear blue waters, eyes trained at the froth culminating as the ocean water pummeled the side of the cliff. You had always been thankful for your balcony’s view of the ocean, but today, the waters seemed off. The waves were choppier than usual, seeming more like a tidepool than a calm sea. It was almost as if the ocean was mourning your future’s demise, too. 

You shook your head as if to shake the thought out of your head. Personifying the sea? You really _were_ losing it. 

Absently, you pulled at the sheer chiffon that clung to your body. Your mother had requested-- no, _insisted_ \-- that you wear the traditional royal wedding garments. Your mother had worn it, your mother’s mother had worn it, and your mother’s mother’s mother had worn it. _God forbid traditions be abandoned during a time like this_ , you thought sarcastically.

Illio had tearfully shoved you into the long dress, her tears making the fabric translucent on your skin. It was a mass of flowy, seafoam-white fabric that hung off your shoulders and pooled at your feet. Your face was hidden entirely by a massive veil of pearls that had a musical clink when you moved. You laughed when you had seen yourself in the mirror; it was like dressing up a corpse for its funeral. 

You sincerely doubted your new husband, otherwise known as your captor, would appreciate the gesture. 

“You look beautiful.”

You swiveled around to find Karan standing in the entrance to the balcony, leaning against the doorframe with his arms firmly crossed. His face was drawn into a scowl. 

You swallowed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable at his presence. “Thanks.” Eyes falling, you picked at the fabric. “I’m sorry you have to see me like...like this.”

“I am, too.” His eyes took in every inch of you. Even from so far away, you could see the resent swirling behind his gaze. “I used to dream of you wearing this dress. Quite often, in fact. But never this way. I wanted you to wear it for _me_.” Karan’s eyes met yours. They were severe. “It feels like your mother is making you wear this on purpose. Like she’s rubbing it in my face, dangling a treat in front of me but yanking it away anytime I get close.”

Suddenly, anger burned at your cheeks. Seriously? How could he be _so daft_ ? “I’m sorry, but last time I remembered, _no one_ really had a choice in this matter, Karan.” you spat. Taking a step forward, you jabbed a finger his way. “I didn’t choose this! I would appreciate it, if-- in my final moments of freedom-- _you don’t make this all about you_!”

His eyebrows furrowed at your response. “You still have a chance. I told you, I was willing to fight for you.”

“Don’t start this again, Karan,” you groaned. Fury and anguish was bubbling in your chest, building like lava in a volcano. You were about to erupt. “You heard the Chamber. It’s hopeless. It’s hopeless. It’s absolutely _hopeless_ …”

 _It’s hopeless_. 

The words, the weight of the situation, it all fell on you instantaneously. Without any thought, you felt yourself dropping to the floor. 

For the first time since the Chamber, it felt real. _All_ of it. The hologram, the Ephors, your mother, Commander Ren… 

It was true. 

You didn’t even notice as the tears began streaming down your face. You were being sent away, forever. You would never see Karan again. You would never see Illio again. The beautiful waves of Thysias, the bustling city of marble walls and piercing sunlight, it was about to fade away. A million questions raced through your brain. Where were you going? Another planet? Or would you be floating through that cold abyss of stars and space for the rest of your life? The thoughts pierced your soul like a spear through flesh. You couldn’t deny the feeling any longer.

You were afraid. 

Your lover had abandoned his post and rushed to kneel by your side. You could feel him rubbing your back, his hands cool against your flushed skin. Still, your mind was clouded in anguish.

He whispered your name. Any remnants of the bitter quarrel you two had seemed to have left his voice. “It’s not hopeless, I told you. When I said I would fight for you, I wasn’t lying. I know Thysias is...weak...against the First Order but...I have a plan.”

You looked up from the floor, vision clouded with tears. A plan? How unlike Karan. He was usually the type to charge headfirst into any situation, no thought needed. “What do you mean?” you whispered. 

Karan’s face became sheepish. He withdrew his hand from you and shoved it into the pockets of his sky-colored pants, fiddling with something. “I may have...stolen...something.”

“ _Karan!_ ” you hissed, eyes narrowing. “Are you serious? What?”

Without a word, he removed his fist from the pocket. One by one, Karan uncurled his fingers. Nestled in his palm was what looked like a little stone, perfectly smooth and shiny. 

Your eyes widened in shock. “A holoprojector,” you whispered. 

Quickly, the device disappeared back into Karan’s pockets. “I knew I would need it one day--” he spoke, words rushing out of his mouth, “--and that day is _today_. I can contact the New Republic; they can help us! What the First Order is doing right now, it’s...it’s...diabolical!”

“Karan, please, no,” you begged, hands pulling at the collar of his shirt to draw him even closer. You could feel the panic building in your voice. “If you do that, or if anyone even _hears_ what you just told me...it’s all over. Don’t you understand?” The tears had resumed their path down your cheeks as you babbled on and on. “ _I love you_ , Karan. Isn’t that enough? I don’t want this. I wanted _you_ , Karan. But this isn’t about me anymore. I have to do this. I have to.”

Karan opened his mouth to speak, but in a fit of passion, you silenced him with a kiss. Melting into each other, your tears staining his dark cheeks, you felt your heart pumping. You kissed him like you were about to die (which was a very likely scenario considering Ren’s reputation). You tried to inject a lifetime of love into your connection, from you and Karan’s shared childhood, your countless memories together, your first kiss under the moonlight, the embraces, the laughter, all of it was put into that one kiss. 

You didn’t know how you were going to live without him. In that moment, you knew no one would replace the void he was going to leave in your soul. 

No one. 

The sound of heels clopping against the tile floor broke your kiss.

“Karan.”

Your mother, donning an elaborate robe of blue fabric that resembled fish scales, stood at the entrance to your balcony. Two palace guards in their moonstone-white armor flanked her sides. 

“I believe your father is waiting for you in the courtyard,” she continued. Her gray eyes flickered back and forth between the two of you, still locked in a firm embrace. “If I were you, I wouldn’t test his patience any longer.”

Eyes dropping to the floor, Karan gently untangled himself from you and rose to his feet. Shooting you a final wistful gaze, he slumped out of the terrace in submission. You were surprised by his willingness to let your mother have her way, all things considered. But you hated conflict, and were deeply thankful for peaceful departure. You were emotionally drained, afterall.

Without moving her eyes from yours, your mother spoke again. “I wish to be left alone with my daughter.”

Silently, the guards shuffled after Karan, leaving you two alone on the terrace. 

The air felt hotter. You couldn’t remember the last time you had been alone with Ariadne. In fact, the more you thought about it, the more you realized that you _never_ had been left alone with her. Even at your birth, there was a crowd surrounding you two. 

The isolation felt wildly uncomfortable. 

She glided by you, coming to a stop by the balcony’s fence. Solemnly, she looked into the waters. “I knew this day would come.”

“I…you did?”

“Yes. Since the day you were born, I knew.” She exhaled and closed her eyes. “Your governess told me. I didn’t want to believe it. I should’ve told you sooner.”

“Mother, please...I’m-I’m confused,” you stumbled over your words. 

She remained still, face out to the sea. “There’s no stopping it. ‘It’s fate,’ she would say.” Ariadne’s eyes fluttered open, and she turned to look at you. “Do _you_ believe this is fate?”

Your head was muddled. You wished she wasn’t so damned cryptic about everything, especially now. “Mother, I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”

She sighed and turned away from you. “Of course you do. Your governess practically shoved those tales of fantasy and legend down your throat. Blasted wrench.” Ariadne sniffed as if the thought disgusted her. Her face was blank, unfeeling, unloving. It was like she didn’t even care that you were about to be whisked into outer space by some goon of power-hungry politicians. “I want to give you something before you go.”

Almost as if commanded to do so, one of the palace guards reentered the terrace holding a small, ornate box. Your mother plucked it from his hands, and the guard left as quietly as he had came. 

“The day you were born, a traveller arrived at the palace.” Ariadne’s stare was fixated on the box, her hands caressing its lid. She seemed far away, unaware of your presence. “No one knew her name, or where she was from. She presented herself to the Chamber and said she came bearing gifts for you. She wouldn’t tell us what it was, or why you needed it. She simply gave me the box, and left.” Your mother paused and looked up, as if trying to remember something. She chewed her lip. “Your governess didn’t want you to have it. She tried to burn it, actually. But _something_ stopped me from letting her. I’m not one for superstitions; you know that. Yet, there’s that _same something_ that’s telling me it’s time to finally give you this gift.”

She placed the box in your hands. Fingers shaking, you fumbled with the clasp and opened it. 

Your breath hitched in your throat. A small pendant laid within the box. A brilliant crystal dangled off the delicate chain. You touched it hesitantly with a finger, and almost dropped the box in shock. It was _hot_. Not like a burning hot, but hot like a warm fire on a cold night. It was canary yellow and sparkled like a diamond. 

It was your own personal sunshine.

Before you could open your mouth to thank Ariadne, she had flitted behind you, taking the box with her. With an unknown tenderness to her actions, she fitted the necklace over your head. Upon touching your collarbone, the crystal seemed to warm your entire body. It felt like you were glowing.

“I hope this will protect you.” your mother said, her voice barely a whisper. “Perhaps it will give you the strength I never could.”

You didn’t know what to do. Your mother had never shown one ounce of affection to you. It was sad that it took imminent destruction to force Ariadne into acting like your mother. You hadn’t thought you would miss her, but now, you wondered if you would be wrong.

“Thank you,” you murmured, clutching the pendant. Emotion prickled at your eyes. “I won’t ever forget this. I promise.”

On cue, a palace guard returned to the terrace. The tender moment between mother and daughter had come and gone.

“Queen Ariadne.” he barked. “They’re ready.”

* * *

The Command Shuttle looked like a monstrous, robotic parasite. The midday sun, now hovering ninety degrees above you, reflected off of the ship’s sides with a blinding glare. 

A dozen soldiers with foreign armor and bulky helmets stood before you in a straight line. They held their guns low, but you noticed each of them had placed a finger on the triggers. If need be, they were ready to shoot. And something told you that they would shoot to kill. 

But what was even more frightening than the plated soldiers was the man who stood in front of them. It was the same man in the holoprojector. He seemed even harsher in real life. It was, surprisingly, his hair that unnerved you: it was as red as flames. You had never seen someone with red hair before.

The First Order and its fleet were stationed in the middle of the palace’s courtyard. The contrast was striking; Thysias with its ancient columns, overflowing gardens of green leaves, and the First Order, donned completely in white and black. Thysias was life, and the First Order was death. They were completely out of place on your planet. 

When you had arrived to the courtyard, it was as silent as a tomb. No one, not even Karan who stood behind the Ephors with a grim look on his face, spoke a single word. The only sound was the distant crash of the ocean. It seemed so far away now. 

Your mother and the guards had escorted you right up to the invisible line that divided “us” from “them”. You stood a mere six feet apart from the First Order’s legion. You looked into the eyes of the soldiers, trying to gauge some sort of humanity behind their tinted visors. 

There was none.

Still, you could feel each and every one of them take you in. All of you. It made your knees knock together, and it took all your willpower not to collapse in fear.

Finally, the red-haired man spoke. 

“So,” he commented. His voice was languid and haughty. Immediately, you could tell he was an asshole. “This is the girl who has caused such a ruckus.” He chuckled, as if the thought amused him. “I suppose I can see why.”

You might have imagined it, but you swore you could hear Karan hiss behind you. 

The man continued. “The First Order is pleased with your decision to join forces, Queen Ariadne. We wish it didn’t have to be like this, but that’s the way the world turns, isn’t it?”

Your mother stood as still as a statue next to you. “I suppose it is.”

The man focused his impenetrable gaze on you. You could feel yourself shrink under it. “And I must commend you on your bravery, Princess. To give yourself up, _entirely_ , all for the sake of your planet? I can only assume that your name will live on forever as a martyr for your people.” 

_No, it wasn’t my choice. I didn’t have one,_ you wanted to shout. Terror, however, had infiltrated every part of your being. You remained silent.  
The man sighed, clapping his hands together. “Well then, I suppose we have to get on with it. A few logistics first: your Princess cannot bring any remnants of her life on Thysias with her,” His eyes narrowed at you. “ _Including_ the gown.”

Your stomach dropped. The Ephors began whispering anxiously behind you. 

Ariadne spoke before anyone else could. “She will not discard the gown and veil. This is her wedding garb; it is tradition for Thysians.”

The man cursed and turned to one of the soldiers, speaking rapidly under his breath. It sounded something like ‘I told you they were lunatics’. He turned back to face you and your crowd, face painted with annoyance. “Fine. She can keep the dress. I don’t think Ren would want her stripping now in front of everyone, anyways.” His face became twisted in a sort of sick, smug smirk. “ _That’s_ for later.”

Your mother inhaled sharply. Your heart was a drum beating rapidly now, and you were suddenly very thankful for the beaded veil that concealed your tomato-red face. The thought of Ren--that _monster_ \--seeing you naked was not only excruciatingly painful, but extraordinarily disgusting. You suddenly wished that you were back on your terrace so you could fling yourself off of it and into the ocean below. Death seemed much more pleasant than any intimate action with Ren. 

And, just like he had heard your thoughts, it happened. 

The entry bridge to the Command Shuttle hissed mechanically, lowering itself. Dust exploded from the pavement as it slammed into the ground, causing the Ephors to recoil and cough. 

The dust cleared, and like an apparition, he was there. 

You didn’t know what to focus on first. The dark, Grim Reaper-esque hooded cloak, the battered combat helmet with elaborate silver inlays, or the sheer imposing malice that radiated from his very being. His steps were heavy and deliberate as he prowled down the entry bridge, straight to you. 

He halted to your fore, a mere inches away. Like a child, you had to look directly up in order to meet his stare. 

Lifeless. There was nothing behind that pitch black visor.

And yet, something happened.

You couldn’t explain it. Words couldn’t cover the vast range of feelings that swirled in the pit of your stomach. 

The primal instincts in your body were tugging at your nerves, screaming at you to run. It was like an alarm blaring in your body. _Danger, danger, danger!_

But, you didn’t run.

 _You couldn’t_.

Something was holding you in place, like someone had glued the bottom of your feet to the ground. It was almost like you _wanted_ to be helpless, to be stuck there. You knew it wasn’t as simple as that, though. 

You wanted him to see you.

You wanted him to take in every single inch of you, to know that it was a human life he was taking away. 

You wanted him to know that you were living, breathing. A being equal to himself.

You wanted him to know that you saw him just as he saw you. 

You wanted him to know that you _loathed_ him for what he was about to do. 

And something told you that he knew _exactly_ what you wanted. But he was Commander Ren, leader of the First Order. Murderer of men. Destroyer of planets. 

He didn’t give a single fuck want you wanted. 

He would take what he deserved, and he thought--no, _knew_ \--that he deserved you. 

Silently, he brought his hand up to your face. You resisted the urge to flinch, the urge to start sobbing, and begged your body to defy your cowardly instincts. _Just this once_.

With a single hand, he slowly lifted the beaded veil from your face. He lingered there, his masked stare taking in the sight. There was no barrier between you two now. You were exposed. You tried to stop the hot tears pricking at your eyes by biting your cheek. Soon, you could taste blood. 

Something seemed to catch his attention. His gaze drifted to the hollow of your neck. _The necklace_. You felt the sudden urge to cover it with your hands, like it was some dirty secret no one could know about. But, before you could react, he had already caught in his gloved grasp.

Almost gingerly, he rotated the crystal back and forth. What was he thinking? What was he doing? You had a sudden vision of him yanking the necklace forward, using it to choke you until you turned blue. 

Thankfully, he didn’t act out your macabre dream. Instead, he released the crystal, letting it fall back onto your collarbone.

He then abruptly spun on his heel and marched back into the Command Shuttle, cloak fluttering behind him, his figure becoming submerged by the shadows.

The sound of a cough broke the tension.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” the red haired man jeered at you, an edge of impatience present in his voice. He waved towards the entry bridge. “Get onboard.”

It was time. 

You swallowed, feeling a lump appear in your throat. You weren’t one for ‘farewell theatrics’, but you felt like it was only right to say goodbye.

You went to face your mother, but she was looking forward, attention fixed somewhere far away.

You turned, trying to find an open face, someone to say goodbye to, someone to embrace. The Chamber met you with cold, vacant expressions.

You weren’t High Princess of Thysia anymore.

You were the wife of the Commander Ren.

Now, you belonged to the First Order.

Biting your lip, you tried to take in as much of Thysia as you could. The blue skies, the salty air, the endless horizon of ocean that surrounded you. You didn’t know the next time you would see your home planet. Most likely, it was never. 

Feeling more resigned than anything, you submitted to departure. You pivoted and began the retreat up the entry bridge. Your feet were heavy with hesitation; it felt less like joining a lover in your conjoined, blissful new life and more like walking into your own grave.

How refreshing. 

And then, you heard it. Your name being howled into the atmosphere. It sounded broken, fragmented, and in total pain. 

_Karan_.

You spun, your veil whipping around you. It was all in slow motion: Karan breaking from the crowd and rushing towards you. Arms open, reaching, desperate to grab you. Distress broken across his beautiful face. The soldiers breaking formation, encircling the boy. They grabbed him, pushing him to his knees below you.

You felt your mouth gape in an attempt to scream, or shout, or call for help. Before a sound could leave your throat, a gloved hand snatched your arm, yanking you further and further into the darkness.

The last thing you saw before the hatch closed was a soldier slam the butt of his gun into your lover’s nose, and a stream of blood splattering the soldier’s white armor. 

And so it began. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, some goddamn CONTENT is injected into this story!! also good riddance Karan, am i right?  
> this chapter took a while to write, mainly because it's a huge transition for the plot line. things are about to get pretty crazy now, and i'm so pumped to begin writing the next chapters! brace yourself, because the atmosphere is about to shift dramatically up in this bitch.  
> how are we feeling about the story so far? feel free to leave comments-- i love talking to you guys and gauging your reactions to the chapters, characters, etc.!  
> thank you to all who left kudos and love on the last chapter!! i hope you enjoy this one and are staying safe :)
> 
> PS- now that things are progressing steadily with the story, i think it's fitting to let you know i'll be posting new chapters twice a week! i'll let you know if it changes, but i should be posting regularly on tuesdays and fridays.


	5. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no time for a honeymoon when your husband is Destroyer of Worlds.

The ride to your new home was, in a few words, uncomfortable.

After witnessing your one true love get the absolute shit beat out of him by your new “bodyguards”, Ren had dragged you like a ragdoll into what you assumed was the cockpit of the Command Shuttle. Numb and disoriented, you fell into the copilot’s seat without a word. 

Most of the flight seemed to pass in a blur. You had never flown in a spacecraft before, but you found the experience to be surprisingly similar to riding in a boat. However, the thought of blasting into the stratosphere still unnerved you just the tiniest bit, so you spent most of the ride staring at your lap (this was also, of course, a clever maneuver into avoiding any eye contact with Ren). Regardless, Ren didn’t offer a word or even a glance in your direction. He merely concentrated on operating the instrument panel, seeming unusually casual about the whole ordeal. Not a flicker of emotion radiated through his masked facade. You wondered if this was normal for him; you know, the whole kidnapping thing. 

You were vaguely aware that two white-amoured soldiers had positioned themselves at the entry to the flight deck (you assumed this was a precaution in case you decided to make a run for it). The situation made you feel more like a captive than a blushing bride. As far as you were concerned, you decided the two terms were interchangeable.

As you stared at your twiddling thumbs, ignoring the constant _whirr_ of engines, you tried to make sense of the situation. A few things were certain:

  1. You were flying through space. 
  2. You were flying through space with a strange, tall, masked man.
  3. The strange, tall, masked man was a notorious murderer. 
  4. The strange, tall, masked man who was a notorious murderer also just-so-happened to be your new husband. 



After fact #4, things got hazy. 

It didn’t seem real, honestly. It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago you were living your normal life, walking through the halls of your home with Illio, rendezvousing with Karan. Sure, life wasn’t perfect. But it was _your_ life; you knew what to expect and exactly when to expect it. Now, you had a feeling your life wasn’t _yours_ anymore.

It was _his_. 

You were so absorbed in existential dread that you hardly noticed the lack of _whirr_ ing from the engines. 

“Princess.”

You snapped your head up and your mind flew back into reality. Ren’s chair was empty. A soldier hovered to your left, a hand extended towards you.

“We’ve arrived.” 

“O-okay.” Gingerly, you put your hand in his and let him lift you up, wobbling slightly as you stood. He led you out of the cockpit and through the narrow cabin. Anxiously, you shifted your weight back and forth as you waited for the soldier to lower the shuttle’s entry bridge. 

“Can I ask where we are...exactly?” you asked sheepishly, fiddling with the sleeves on your wedding gown. 

He looked at you over his shoulder. The bulky helmet hid his expression, but you could tell he was absolutely dumbfounded by your stupidity. “Starkiller Base,” he answered plainly. 

“Oh.” You assumed this was your new home. 

The entry bridge slid open, dropping to reveal your surroundings. 

The first thing you noticed was how hellishly cold the place was. 

Then, you noticed the white. 

It was white. 

_Everywhere._

The vast expanse of flat ground, the mountains in the far horizon, the sky-- it was all covered in a thick layer of white. 

Kylo Ren had carried you far away from your beautiful planet of sunshine, ocean breeze, and overflowing life only to hold you captive in a frozen Hell hole. 

He must’ve had a _great_ sense of irony. 

Wrapping your arms around yourself to keep warm, you followed the soldier down the entry bridge and around the ship. Commander Ren, flanked by a dozen other official-looking sergeants and soldiers, waited. They stood before a giant stone structure, which upon second glance, you registered to be a tower built into one of the snow-capped mountains. Even the building seemed uninviting.

As soon as you approached, Ren pivoted on his heel and began to walk towards the entrance. Encouraged by the soldier gesturing for you to move, you timidly began following your husband. 

Unsurprisingly, the inside of the Starkiller Base was just as bone-chillingly cold as the outside. You tried to take in your new home as you walked behind Ren, but all of it seemed to blur together. Everything was a dark shade of chrome, save for the occasional burgundy tapestries that decorated some walls. There were hundreds, if not thousands, of workers scrambling to and from the maze of hallways and adjourning chambers. They all had a sort of dead, ambivalent look to them--except for when they caught sight of Ren. You would’ve thought that your new husband was a walking, talking hurricane of death by the way they reacted to his passing. The moment they caught sight of him approaching, they practically flung themselves aside to make room for him. They either bowed their heads in fear or stared at him with wide, panic-stricken eyes. You wondered how many First Order workers he had “accidentally” killed in a fit of rage.

What was more unsettling, however, was the way they looked at _you_ . You knew you were sticking out like a sore thumb with your white gown and beaded veil. But your gut told you that wasn’t the only reason why they stared at you with such shock. You knew it was because of who you were to them: Commander Ren’s _wife_. 

After about half an hour of winding through the gray hallways and up several stories of stairs, Ren stopped in front of a large hatch. It was the only door down the long passageway. You gulped as you realized what this must be. 

His quarters.

He pressed his thumb into a small keyboard that was fixed besides the hatch, and the door slid open. Ren stepped inside, then looked back at you. He wanted you to follow him. Hesitating, you quickly calculated your chance of escaping if you made a dash for it. However, your mind reminded you that Commander Ren could not only outrun you, but probably throttle you lifeless, as well.

You admitted defeat and shuffled into the room after him. 

Similar to the rest of Starkiller Base, all aspects of Kylo Ren’s chambers were composed of various shades of grays. The main area was largely barren, save for a lengthy glass table with two steel chairs placed at either end of it. You trailed after Ren further into the quarters, passing by an open door on the far right side of the room. You stole a peek through the door’s opening and were able to make out a large mirror with a stone sink under it. You assumed that was the bathroom, and silently thanked the Gods that you at least had somewhere to relieve yourself. 

Ren led you past the glass table and through an open archway. You now stood in a smaller dark chamber. Most of the room was dominated by a gigantic bed, draped in scarlet silks. An equally large metal trunk was nestled in the corner of the room. A padded door loomed ominously on the opposite end of the chamber.

This was it.

The bedroom. 

An unnatural chill coursed through your body, covering your arms in goosebumps. It wasn’t just the cold air making you feel this way. It was pure terror. 

Commander Ren had made his way to the far end of the room and now stood near the bed, facing you. If it weren’t for the occasional rise and fall of his chest, you would’ve thought he was statue by how still he was. Ren had continued to wear his helmet, making him utterly devoid of any human resemblance. For all you knew, there wasn’t even a man under that cloak.

You shuddered at the thought. 

“This is where you will stay.”

The heavy, hollow voice sent shivers up your back. It took you a second to recognize where it was coming from. 

It was Ren. He had spoken.

The sound of his voice weighed on you like a ton of bricks. The effect was...unnatural. The moment he uttered his voice, a concoction of emotions began to swirl in the pit of your stomach. On one hand, you wanted to retract into your shell of a body and hide like a mouse caught in a corner. On the other hand, you wanted to lunge at him and rip his throat out with your bare hands. 

Instead of doing either, you just stared at him, dumbfounded. 

“These quarters have everything you need,” Ren continued, lamely gesturing around himself. “Including clothes.”

Your eyes flashed to the trunk in the corner. So that’s what was in it. You guessed the red-haired man wasn’t lying when he said you couldn’t bring anything of Thysias with you. No wonder he made such a fuss about the gown. Speaking off…

You thumbed the fabric of the dress nervously. “The other commander said I could keep my wedding dress.”

“No.”

You opened your mouth, then closed it again. _No?_ How could you respond to that? _‘Oh sorry, please forgive me All-Knowing-Master! Here’s the dress, and while we’re at it, here’s my everlasting soul, too!’_

“But...he _said_ I could keep it,” you stuttered, mind racing to formulate an argument. “Besides, this is all I have left of Thysias.”

“You require nothing of Thysias now.” Ren retorted simply. “Commander Hux said you could keep it only to preserve your modesty in front of an audience. There is no audience now.” He raised a hand toward you and beckoned. 

He didn’t need to say it; that gesture said it. You knew what he wanted. And it scared the _absolute shit_ out of you. 

You didn’t want to take the gown off. It was your last stand against Ren. Your last remnant of independence before your life became his. Before you would wear the clothes _he_ gave you, slept in _his_ bed, ate _his_ food. 

But you had no choice. 

This was yet another sacrifice you would make for the sake of your people. Of your _home_.

And so, like the martyr you had become, you complied.

Fighting to keep the angry tears from spilling over, you removed your veil. The pearls felt warm to the touch. You moved onto the gown, slipping the straps from your shoulder. It fell to the ground in a pool of white chiffon. You stepped out of it, now totally exposed to him. The tears were still stinging at your eyes, but you put all of your willpower into keeping them at bay. You couldn’t let him see you cry. You wouldn’t.

You jutted out your chin in defiance as you bent over to scoop up the last remains of your past life, then flung the clothes at him. He caught it easily with one hand. 

“There.” you spat, lip quivering. “Satisfied?”

Ren was silent. Even through the tinted visor, you could feel his eyes practically tearing you apart, inch by inch of bare skin. When he spoke, it sounded lower than before.

“ _Yes._ ”

Feeling more and more like a slab of meat with every silent second, you crossed your arms in front of your chest to preserve some dignity. “So, what am I supposed to do now? Just hang out in the rooms, or…?”

“You will stay in these chambers unless otherwise specified by myself or escorted by a companion.” Ren commanded, clutching the pieces of your clothing in a gloved hand. “I have already assigned a companion for you.”

“I don’t need a companion.”

“You had a companion on Thysias,” Ren retorted. “So you will have one now.”

“I thought you didn’t want my ‘new life’ to be like my one on Thysias.”

“Do _not_ speak back to me,” Ren hissed, suddenly appearing a mere inches away from your face. He had moved so fast it seemed like a blur. “If I tell you to do something, you will do it. If I tell you that 2+2 equals 5, you will believe it. My word is your lifeblood and your truth from here on out.” By now, his helmet was only a millimeter away from digging into your skull. “ _Do I make myself clear_?”

Any fragment of logic or reasoning had left your body at this point. You weren’t sure how he did it, but Ren’s very presence forced your very soul in complete resignation. “Yes,” you whispered. 

Commander Ren leaned away from you. “Good.” He briefly looked down at the fabric in his hand. He had an iron grip on it. “I have certain duties that need attending to. I will return in the morning. Your companion will arrive later in the evening.”

He glided past you, and you shivered as the fabric of his cloak caressed your bare calf. But you stood completely still, back facing him as he left. 

The moment you heard the entrance close, you fell to your knees. The tears came out like a furious gush of waterfall, making puddles on the shiny linoleum floor underneath you. 

In that moment, hot tears rushing down your face, dry sobs of terror heaving out of your chest, another fact about your situation became certain to you:

5\. Commander Ren was determined to make your life a living Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when your new husband doesn't understand math
> 
> also thank you SO MUCH to all who showed me love on the last chapter! i totally did not expect this to gain as much traction as it has, and i'm so happy we're all experiencing this slightly concerning romance story together lol
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter! like i said before, updates will be posted regularly on tuesdays and fridays!
> 
> sending love to everyone!!
> 
> EDIT 6/4: hey everyone, hope you're all doing well. i just wanted to check in and apologize for the radio silence this week...  
> i'm sure you all are quite aware of the current conflict occurring in the U.S. (a human rights conflict, to be exact). it's been an especially hectic and distressing time, so it's been harder for me to write or even concentrate on anything.  
> as of right now, i'm delaying the next chapter's posting to 6/17 (next Wednesday), and of course, i will let you know if that changes. i apologize for the delay and promise that this story WILL continue. thank you for the support and kind messages you have been leaving!


End file.
